When I entered a new decade a month ago, I had no expectations about how I’d transition into 30. People tend to make a big deal about milestone years and I tried my best not to feed into that practice. There’s a lot of pomp and circumstance (and anxiety for some), that happens before this birthday, but no one talks about what happens just after one turns 30. Like directly after. I’m not gon’ lie, I was low for about two days.
My state of lowness had to do with the fact that the party was over. There was a lot of build-up for my birthday this year, some from my loved ones, but mostly from myself. I started this blog as a promise and a test of my faith, persistence, and will to accomplish something that was a challenge. The focus during the first month of this blog was all about reflection on my life up until that point and how I felt about turning 30. I wasn’t stressed about 30, but the emphasis those last days of my 20s was getting to where I am today. So, when the moment came and left, the celebration was over and I came down from my high, I was sad. I’m dramatic in that way though lol. I used to go to concerts when I was younger and be so sad when they were over, that I would secretly cry for weeks. It makes no sense. Actually, I think it was because I wanted to be a singer and wasn’t living the life of the entertainer I saw. Or maybe I was just crazy.
I’ve felt a lot of things the last 31 days. I felt old after a gray hair popped up on my hairline a few weeks ago that I can’t stop staring at. I felt wise when someone asked me for dating advice (don’t know how much help I was, considering I haven’t dated–like ever). Yesterday I felt young after my secret Santa at work told me that she didn’t know who I was and thought I was a student the last three months. Then I felt old again because only women who are getting older are flattered when someone says they look younger than they are. Most of all though, I’ve felt blessed. I’m grateful to be alive and have people around me who love me as much as I love them. I feel blessed to be able to create and for the ideas God has given me, ’cause He doesn’t talk to everyone. Excited to see what happens these next 11 months!
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